Awakenings

"Everything I do is judged, and they mostly get it wrong, but oh well. Cuz the bathroom mirror has not budged, and the woman who lives there can tell
the truth from the stuff that they say. She looks me in the eye and says,
'You prefer the easy way...well...ok....don't cry' " - from "Joyful Girl" by Ani Difranco

Taken somewhat out of context this may not make all that much sense, but I was listening to her today and this line caught my attention. It reminded me of one of those moments in your life that isn't really significant at all, but for some reason you think about it from time to time.

I was living in Lubbock, Tx with a good friend. I had just graduated from Texas Tech with a BA in Psychology. This time in my life was a real period of growth, exploration, and honesty. I was living hand-to-mouth and was loving every minute of it. Working full time in a bank during the day, and part time in a bowling alley snack bar in the evening. I felt connected....to everything. Life just made sense.

One morning as I stood in front of the bathroom mirror I felt like I found the pinnacle of self awareness. I was looking myself in the eye. It struck me like a slap in the face that in my (at the time) 22 years of life I don't think I had ever looked myself in the eye. Its funny, but when we look in the mirror we are always doing something. Checking ourselves out, brushing our teeth, shaving, or whatever.

There was something so pure about just standing there and staring into my own eyes. I felt all the questions and confusion in my life just lift away. At that moment I knew myself. I was.....awake.

This song reminded me of that moment. Yet another example of the power of music...and lyrics. Thinking of that time gave me a renewal of that feeling. The song has that air of reflection in it, and that just makes it all the more fitting for this little story. I hope you enjoy.

Oh, and if you haven't looked yourself in the eye, do it, and give it some time. Just shut up for a minute and stare. Look directly into your eyes, and nowhere else, for a good minute or so. You might be surprised at how it makes you feel.


And you owe it to yourself to listen to more of Ani's music. She is truly a one-of-a-kind songwriter.